Waiting Forever.....

It was a small, nondescript, oval shaped park sandwiched between roads from both the sides, with residential societies standing on the other sides of roads. It was named ‘Anandvan’ but was very well maintained or lush green. There were some benches in the park, oval noses at the ends had long Ashoka and big mango trees; and centre of the park had open space where societies’ children played.
On one side of the park was a residential society ‘SevaGram’. Naynaa along with her mother Mehek lived on the 3rd floor of the building, with their balcony facing the park. They enjoyed evening tea in the balcony, watching children play and some oldies sitting on the benches chatting continuously for hours, till it was dark. It was an amalgamation of two distant ends of life, children unaware, enthusiastic and enjoying every moment. On the other hand were old men/women tired, disturbed and uninterested. Park was their solace, their territory and their independence. And children’ unadulterated love and kindness was their daily dose of stamina which kept them going.
For some days Naynaa observed an old man, of around her mother’s age, sitting on the corner bench, all alone, little interested in happenings around him, submerged in his own thoughts and gazing intermittently on distant horizon till it was dark. She had never seen him before and none of others present in park seemed to recognize him. This has been his routine for last 2-3 weeks. It was no different for next some weeks till, one day, when Naynaa came in the park and sat beside him. Surprised, he looked at her and gave a gentle smile.

“Hello Uncle, I am Naynaa. I live in SevaGram Society” said she to start the conversation.
“Hi Beti….How are you? I see you daily in your balcony with your mother. How did you come down today” he asked casually, plucked a leave from the nearby plant and kept making small pieces of it till it was impossible to tear it any further. He had made a heap of leaves’ pieces on the ground and this was the latest addition. She thought, maybe, this is his time pass activity in the park. The plant closer to the bench had very less leaves left and she knew it well why it was so.
She replied, “Hmmm...Yeah...I enjoy my evening tea in balcony with mom, watching children play in the park and setting sun in far sky. But it is you who have pulled me here today”
He threw the leave pieces and looked surprised, worried at her. “I…how can me?”he asked.
“I mean...I have observed you sitting here daily all alone, lost in your own thoughts. So thought to give you a company. Hope I will not bore you”

“No...No...not at all. You are welcome. I am new to this locality, am a bit reserved kind of person and don’t easily mingle with all, so generally keep a distance from others.” said he apologetically.
They kept chatting on general topics, whether, politics, sports and literature. It continued for many days and in the process they started admiring each other. If he was an intelligent and knowledgeable person. She was quick and witty. Naynaa liked spending time with him, and he no one knew when he felt. Whenever time permited she would come down in the park and they would chat for hours. Intermittent chats became routine and they came to know each other very well after some months. Naynaa was employed in an IT company and was living with her mother. She had lost her father last year to cancer. He was Mehir, a retired government employee, shifted some months ago in the city and was living all alone. When Naynaa asked him about his family, he informed her that he was never married and requested her not to ask any more questions about it. She respected his feelings. They would chat for hours on varied subjects, but never about their personal life. Naynaa would share most of her conversation with Mehir with her mother.

One day when Naynaa asked him, “Uncle. I know you won’t like it but this is within me for months. I have come to know you well but still I feel I don’t know you. You are a stranger to me. Who are you? Why didn’t you marry? Why did you come to this city?”

“You will know it all one day. Just have a little patience” he said and she didn’t ask anything more. It was all normal after that. They met, chatted and respected each other. Suddenly Naynaa stopped coming in the park and even Mehir didn’t turn up for a while. The bench in the corner stood unoccupied, witnessing their absence. Mehir started coming after some days but Naynaa didn’t turn up. He would come daily, wait for her and then return back when it is dark.
One day she came to the park, she looked down and dejected. They chatted but the weirdness of the circumstances was obvious. Mehir cut it in the middle and asked, “What has happened? Why are you looking so sad today? Where were you for so many days?”
She was stunned by the bluntness of his question in the middle of the conversation. She took time to bring her together, trying to control her emotions she said, “I lost my mother. She is no more”
He was shocked, didn’t move an inch, eyes fixed on her. They kept quite. She was trying to control herself, staring sometimes in sky; sometimes kept her head pressed down; or moved her eyes in varied directions
Mehir was observing this. He added, “I know it’s tough for you. It is natural. It is tough to loss some close to heart. But she was always like this, living the moments, doing things in flash and see… she left in a flash. It was also tough to me when I lost her almost 35 years back. She didn’t say anything, just left a note “Bbye Mehir!! Wish you all the best from my side for your life” That was it. No calls, no meetings, just the end. I tried hard to contact her but she would never reply to my messages even if she was aware.
“Who???...my mother”
“Yeah….your mother, Mehek. You remember…you asked me….why am I alone? What am I doing here? And I had said, “I would let you know when the day comes”. Today is the day. I and Mehek were together in college, together till our first job. Subsequently as we inched towards our youth and age got over us, we would have fights; there was insecurity and the question of marriage. We were from different parts of India and your mother was not ready to go against her parent’s wishes. One day we had a big fight and she left. She left…just left….neither ever contacted me nor acknowledged my many attempts to get in touch with her. And then I came to know the she married your father. She moved ahead in her life, but for me she was the full stop. I remained there still the same she left years ago. I was not waiting for her to come back. But living along her shadow, with the dreams we had together, for the future that I didn’t wish to see. I kept following her…..through common friends or internet, secretly, never coming in her way. I never married….it was tough to get over her…I could not do that. I kept working for my parents and brothers and when I retired, came in here and would come every day in the park to see her when in the balcony. I am not sure if she ever recognized me, it’s tough to recognize some body after 35 years. But for me her single gaze was enough to live for the day”

Tears rolled through his eyes. He wept uncontrollably in the presence of Nayana. He might have wept after years, for long time he had lost all emotions; earthy pulls never affected me. He kept crying, not sure if this was for Mehek’s death or for the decision she made 30 years ago or for the life which he sacrificed on her.
It had gone dark, 8:00 PM, Naynaa brought him in her apartment. She brought water for him. Mehek’s asthi, mortal remains, were kept in an earth pot in the corner of the room along a big portrait of her. She was smiling, maybe saying welcome to Mehir.

He was about to leave when Naynaa started speaking, “She always knew you are around. If you were following her, she was also informed about you. It was she who sent me to you to sit in the park. I would share everything which you used to tell me in those conversations and she would simply say he hasn’t changed. If she moved away from you, years ago, due to her parental wishes, she maintained the gap till her end for the rules of the society we live in”

Those words hit Mehir hard, caught him unawares. She knew all about him? She still loved him?? Message of those words were smooth to have flown inside him, he felt the rush within. He was at peace after so many years……got the answer for which he had been wandering. He opened the door and said turning back,” Bbye Naynaa…Take care of you….I don’t know how to live from tomorrow and for whom”
“For me….my mother died sure that you would look after me in her absence” replied Naynaa.